A Post About Relationships. Sort Of.

It's weird to be attracted to someone when you know they might actually like you back. Like, that's a totally new and different experience for me. I don't really know if it makes me more or less awkward around them. Let's just say more, though, because that seems more like me. The only guy I actually count as a boyfriend was Andy, and let's just say it took me a three months before I could actually, and I'm not lying about this, even talk to the boy. Then three months of just being friends. Then four months of going on off and on dates through the summer. Finally he told me that he liked me at a friends birthday party and we dated for eight months. So, my track record for guys is slim at best, although I love Andy to pieces.

My general recent type for unattainable guys? (I say guys because the majority of the girls I'm attracted to are unattainable simply because they are heterosexual.) They usually have one, or more, of the following traits:

• At least 5 years older then I
• Married
• Taken
• Just got out of a relationship
• Has a kid
• Lives way to far away
• We are just friends
• Has no idea who I am (in all actuality)

And I'm not just talking about celebrity crushes, which is pretty sad. Also, I haven't really been crushing, amazingly enough, on too many homosexual boys. So, go me. 

Anyway. Back to that guys actually, maybe, liking me thing. Surprisingly, or at least it is surprising to me (and probably my IRL friends who know me okay), I haven't really thought about the guy I've been crushing on mad for the past three months. Like, barely at all. It's a combination of not talking to him because we hung out so much during the last month of school and I figured we probably needed time where we just weren't in each others lives, and internet friends and work being my whole life right now. Like, the only reason I've even thought about him in the past week or so is because I've been thinking about school and my major, which he is in. I only mention this because it is kind of amazing, considering it's me.

I mention this whole topic, however, because I like (only tiny crushes, I swear!) three guys at work. They all fall under at least one, if not two or more, of the things I put on that list. Honestly, two of them are only because I have fun messing around and bad mouthing customers with them and, despite being shift leaders, they're both really chill. Which is slightly attractive to me, being able to be that cool with someone. That doesn't however, make them legit crushes or anything actually sustainable. The other one, I actually really like. Or could potentially like, I don't actually know him that well. What's funny is that he went to school with my sister. Like, they partied together in high school and she was really good friends with his younger brother. He came in today to see about his schedule, which is what made me think of this. We flirt a lot, when we actually work together, and I know I'm not just imagining things (like I'm known to do) because he found me on Facebook and gave me his phone number. 

The potential of someone actually, for once, liking me back when I like them is a little too much to handle, though. I can feel my relationship fail kicking into overdrive. Regardless of whether or not it would be a "relationship" because that fail system kicks in for any aspect of a relationship. Sometimes even for friendships.

PLUS. There's the guy I'm in Nerdfighterlust with. There's been some talk from Savannah and Rachel about why I'm calling it that, instead of Nerdfighterlike. Honestly, to me, Nerdfighterlike implies that both parties feel the same about each other. Nerdfighterlust, on the other hand, is more one-sided. The unrequited like of a Nerdfighter. That's totally what I'm in. So, that's what I'm calling it and you can suck it if you don't like it.

Anyway. I worked from 11 AM until 8 PM, because both people who were supposed to come in called off and we even had to call in my best friend, who also works with me (\o/), which was lame. Then, of course I work from 8 AM until 4 PM tomorrow and I really shouldn't be writing this. I should be sleeping. But the episode of Family Guy  that was on I had already seen eighteen thousand times and I was bored.

So, I hope this entry made some kind of sense. Next entry will be SPN related for Savannah, I swear. I need to rewatch the finale before I write it, though. Also, I need to finish Caprica and watch the four episode of Breaking Bad I haven't yet.

Until next time,

Wednesday.