Thursday, November 3, 2011

In Relation to Film School

Last night at midnight Honors College students were allowed to register for Spring 2012 classes. Except that, like every single semester, there were so many people trying to register for classes that the system shut down. Like, the school's website wouldn't even come up. That's alright, though. I decided to say fuck it, like every year, and went to bed. 8:00am this morning I registered for classes, and I got into everything I needed, except two classes. Those two classes are Intro to Film Directing and Scene Writing, both of which I need to e-mail the professors of. I need instructor override before I can put them on my schedule. Terry I will talk to today in Screenwriting.

The truth is that I'm taking 19 credit hours. The truth is that every one of the seven classes that I'm taking, except one, are film related.

Mondays:

  • 11:15 - 12:05 ENG 394 (Film Adaptation)
  • 4:00 - 5:15 ENG 278 (Intro to Film Studies)
  • 6:00 - 8:50 PAR 353 (Religion in Film)
Tuesdays:
  • 9:30 - 10:45 HIST 182 (Ancient Empires)
  • 2:05 - 3:20 MPTP 253 (Intro to Film Directing)
  • 3:35 - 4:50 MPTP 321 (Scene Writing)
  • 5:05 - 5:55 MPTP 386 (Production Practicum)
Wednesdays: 
  • 11:15 - 12:05 ENG 394 (Film Adaptation)
  • 4:00 - 5:15 ENG 278 (Intro to Film Studies)
Thursdays:
  • 9:30 - 10:45 HIST 182 (Ancient Empires)
  • 2:05 - 3:20 MPTP 253 (Intro to Film Directing)
  • 3:35 - 4:50 MPTP 321 (Scene Writing)
Fridays:
  • 11:15 - 12:05 ENG 394 (Film Adaptation)

The truth is that I'm going to spend a lot of time in my room or in the library just doing work or reading or filming. The truth is that it's going to be hard. The truth is that I know it will be hard. The truth is that I don't care. The truth is that I am really excited, regardless. 

Now, I need to get ready to go to Basic Production Techniques. The truth is, I'm really happy I don't have the teacher who teaches Basic next semester. 

-Wednesday

Monday, October 10, 2011

Looking for Wednesday

There should be no doubt that Looking for Alaska by John Green inspired my blog name, my second channel name, and basically everything that is not "Cophenalypse." The Wednesday part comes from my being Wednesday on my first true collab channel, but that's not really that important.

Looking for Alaska, however, is not my favorite John Green book. Paper Towns holds that title, and I'm pretty sure it always will. I have a theory about that, though. Whatever the first John Green book you read is, it will probably be your favorite John Green book. Forever. You never forget the first time you read John Green.

That being said, Looking for Alaska is a very important book to me. First, it made me stop being afraid to highlight in my books. With the possible exception of my hardback Harry Potter novels and my favorite copy of my favorite book. Other than that, everything is free game. Second, my favorite thing from Looking for Alaska isn't the Great Perhaps or the Labyrinth of Suffering. No.

"It always shocked me when I realized I wasn't the only person in the world who thought and felt such strange and awful things." - Looking for Alaska; John Green
 That will always be my favorite part. That and the bit where Pudge is sitting in the French class conjugating the verb "to believe" and then the rain comes.

I picked Looking for Alaska to be the novel who's title I based all my second channel related things off of not because it is my favorite John Green novel (it isn't) or because I find the story that particularly moving for the reasons everyone else does (I don't), but because Looking for Alaska is something Pudge will always be doing. He will always be trying to find that girl who he couldn't reach, who he couldn't make love him, who he couldn't be sure he actually loved, who he didn't actually know, and who he couldn't save. Pudge will spend the rest of his life focusing on a girl he didn't really know, instead of focusing on who he really is.

That's what this is about. Remembering to never focus on why I'm not good enough to reach someone, to have someone truly love me, to truly love someone, to know someone fully, and to save someone however they need saving. It's about focusing on reaching myself, loving myself, knowing myself fully, and saving myself however I might need saving.

John Green didn't break or destroy the Manic Pixie Girl troupe with Alaska, but he shattered it in Paper Towns. Margo is who Alaska would have become. Quentin is who Miles would have become. That is probably why, when I look at the two novels after having read them both, I love Paper Towns more. It disproves the Manic Pixie Girl troupe because Manic Pixie Girls can never be reached. They can never love you. They can never accept your love. They can never be fully known. And they can never be saved.

They are fiction. We are not. I will always be looking for Wednesday, looking for myself, because that is the only person in the world who I can reach, love, fully know, and save.

You can show someone that they can do all those things for themselves, but you could never actually do  them for that person.

-Wednesday

Friday, September 2, 2011

One Day Christopher Nolan Will Know.

I am a sophomore in college.

That's something I've always wanted to say. It's something I've always wanted to be. And here I am, being and saying that I am a sophomore in college. And not only am I a sophomore in college, I am a film student. I am a mother fucking film student.

The ways in which I get into things, or discover things, or become things are always strange. They are strange, and random, and usually make no sense at all. My introduction to feminism, to the LGBTQIAA+ community, my becoming a Buddhist, my becoming an Atheist, my becoming a Nerdfighter. None of those introductions were done in a very typical way. Not really. And why should me becoming a film student be any different?

When we were kids everyone had extravagant dreams of what they wanted to be when they grew up. The typical ones were boring and all I wanted to be when I grew up was a character from Harry Potter. That's it. It was the first book series that I was unbelievably into and that I allowed myself to believe was pure and perfect imagination. And I wanted to be in that world.

As I grew up I realized that I couldn't actually be in that world. It was a horribly sad impossibility. I could however create worlds as fascinating and beautiful. That was as close to being in that world as I could possibly get. I continued up until high school with dreams of being a fantastically amazing author. Of creating world after world, story after story, amazing character after amazing character. Until one day, out of nothing in particular, I realized how great a writer I was not. Research papers, sure. I am a fantastic research paper writer. It's why I was so fantastic at Original Oratory in high school. Creating a story that held all the wonder elements that I loved in stories was significantly harder. All I wanted to do was tell stories, but I was hindered by being close minded to actually learning how to create and add the elements of literature.

So instead of trying to hone my skills as a writer and get better, I gave up almost completely. Other than writing a 50,000 word novel during NaNoWriMo 2009, which I have yet to edit or even really think about since I finished in November, I have started a grand total of two stories. Neither of those fleshed themselves or have been completed properly. They may never be completed. I've learned to be okay with that.

I decided to do quite the opposite of writing. I wanted to code. Computer Science was my major when I went to orientation at Western Carolina University for the first time. I quickly became undecided when I remembered that math was not actually something I was good enough at to justify a major with so much of it.

Over the summer, after I was undecided, I saw a movie with my best friend, Jordan. It's a movie everyone has heard of. A movie that everyone has seen. It's the movie that made me remember why I wanted to be a storyteller. It made me feel all the things that I wanted to make people feel because of a story. It is not the greatest movie ever. It isn't even in my top ten. It is a fantastic movie and it was just the kick I needed to remind me that, "OH YEAH. STORYTELLING DOES AMAZING THINGS."

And that's the story about how a summer blockbuster that deserved to win more than just technical Oscars saved my life. That's the story about how Inception both blew my mind and reminded me that storytelling is in my blood.

I am a mother fucking film student because of Christopher Nolan. Someday he's going to know that. Just you wait and see.

-Wednesday

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Rationalizing High School Musical.

The fact that my computer doesn't spellcheck the word "teenybopper" is strange. I don't really use that word almost ever. I'm pretty sure this is the second or third time I've ever typed it. That's not necessarily the point, but I do think it's an interesting comment on how our society currently is.

I've always had great pride about the fact that I'm ridiculously eclectic with most things in my life. My music taste is somewhere between folk and rap, with everything in between. My novel taste is from Gossip Girl to Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.. My television taste is somewhere between Doctor Who and South Park, with a good bit of everything else. My film taste is no different. Somewhere between Chasing Amy, Inception, and High School Musical.

So I thought I'd talk about that last one. If only because, to anyone but me and a good few of my friends, it seems out of place and random. Although, with the variety of things I like, I don't really understand how people even question me about my tastes in things anymore. Obviously I don't have an answer.

I was a freshman in high school when the first film came out. It was hitting mildly hard and I wasn't really biting. I was still watching Disney Channel, though, as a freshman. It was around the time that I stopped, however. After High School Musical 2 came out, I was pretty much done with Disney. Beside the point, though. The point is that I was one of those people who scoffed at HSM the first because it was cheesy and I was a proper high school student. (Which is code for, "I'm too adult for this bullshit." Which is always a lie, by the way. #thingsilearnfromgrowingup) Then I was bored and it was on when nothing else was. Isn't that how it always is, though? At least that's how I get into a lot of random things I never thought I'd like. Maybe that's just me though.

Okay. So I got into High School Musical. I bought the DVD and learned the dance and I was so very much a "teenybopper." (As a side note, this is right before Twilight got really big and I had just gotten into that series. You win some, you lose some.) From the moment I got into HSM I didn't stop. I watched HSM2 the night it premiered the next year and I went to see High School Musical 3: Senior Year in theatres. WHICH WAS AWESOME, by the way. I love HSM. Now that we've got that out of the way, let me try to convey why I enjoy it so much. Mostly characters, for your information. The second and third had good plots, as well. First one, not so much. So, it's all about the characters.

In the first film Sharpay was the only character I really liked. It half came from my love of Ashley Tisdale, from her being on The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, and the other half came from the fact that she was kind of the only character that had any, cliché as it is, character. No matter how seemingly two-dimensional that character was. The other characters had even less character, falling flat into one-dimensionality. Once the second and the third films came out, though, Ryan became my front runner. He's my favorite and I just simply adore him in all his coded gayness. (Although I really do wish they'd had him holding hand with a guy just once in the background, or slipped it into random conversation because I don't feel like we should have coded gay characters anymore. I always thought we were over that. Apparently not. Regardless, he is glorious.)

My evolution with the other characters, however, goes about like this.

Troy Bolton is probably one of the most manipulative characters I've seen from Disney and he does so in such a subtle way that I almost want to scream. At the same time, though, he's also the biggest sheep. Which is part of why I am so fascinated by his character, I think. He often places what his friends think about him higher then even what he thinks of himself and is willing to do anything, just about, to maintain the "leader" role that they've given to him. I do love him as a genuinely great character in the third movie, however, but I think it had more to do with better writing, better acting, and just a general sense of better from the cast and writers.

Gabriella Montez gets better and better with every movie. In the first she's the very typical "girl-next door" who just wants to be in love and falls for a douche bag jock. I do love, however, that she's a fucking genius though. I always thought that was a nice character touch, since she didn't really have that much character. The second movie showed Gabriella standing up to Sharpay, and not for Troy. It had nothing to do with Troy, she didn't really care. She cared that Sharpay was fucking with her friends and her summer, and she told her so. Then she broke up with Troy. And even though they got back together at the end, I adore her show of strength. Gabriella in the third movie also showed her to be strong, which was lovely. I really enjoyed her character development throughout the series. Plus I have so much love the beautiful and lovely Vanessa Hudgens.
Part of a Picspam of Baby V I made. 
Chad and Taylor were characters I really liked. I wish they had both had more character development. Taylor especially. I love that she too was a genius and was going to Yale and was just fierce for what they showed of her. Chad got a little more exposure, but I also feel like the writers wrote him off as the comedic one. While I maintain the belief that he is comedic and it's perfectly glorious, I think his friendship with Troy is interesting. His friendship (gayship) with Ryan is also glorious. Both relationships deserved more exposure, I think. I also thought that Chad and Taylor didn't really belong together and were only pushed together because the writers/Disney thought that HSM was the ark and everyone needed a date.

So. Characters. Characters are my bread and butter. Over analyzing, like I said to Syd, is also my bread and butter. I love it and I do it often to everything. I think it's mostly to rationalize why I like the light hearted, shallow even, teenybopper things I like. Regardless, I hope this gave some insight. Plus I'm always down for musicals. So, there's that.

-Wednesday

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

For the Love of Kripke.

This post contains massive spoilers for the finale of Supernatural season 6. You have been warned. 


Let me preface this post with a quick statement of my loyalties in Supernatural. I am a Dean girl, through and through. I am also a big fan of Castiel. I have been for a really long time. Like, season 4, long time. He is my second favorite character and just the thought that he was only supposed to be around for six episodes is amazingly awesome. I feel like it's a testament to both the writer's who created him and continued to create him over the last three seasons, and to Misha Collins for being such a fantastic actor. 

I also have a fandom hard on for Castiel/Dean. And it's not just because I truly enjoy slash and fanfiction in all it's glory. It is because, at the very least, I truly believe that Castiel is in love with Dean. I think Misha plays it that way and I think it is a main aspect of who Castiel's character is. That not only is he dealing with the turmoil of being a rebel angel, trying to find God, and fighting against his brothers because he doesn't believe in the apocalypse. He is also dealing with all of that plus being in love with a human. His drive to protect Dean and the protect those whom Dean deems the most important in the world, is that of complete and utter love. That fact is indisputable. Now, it is up to whomever is watching to decide if it is because he loves him like a brother, or if it is because he's in love with him. I choose the latter because I feel like we both already have a strong, do-anything-for-you, brother relationship and because of how Misha plays it. 

So, that being said. Let's move on to the finale episodes.  

I feel like this season has focused a lot on Sam and Castiel. I feel like their two stories, that intertwine in such a fantastic way, are those which define the season as a whole and define how things are going to move forward in season 7. Dean is an important, makeshift, voice of reason but that does not mean he is always correct. This is where being a Dean girl and Castiel fan comes into conflict for me. This season more than any other. 

One of my favorite things about Supernatural is the references to culture. The bit about H.P. Lovecraft was ingenious and I love that it both happened and that even before they showed the name, my brain told me it was Lovecraft. I feel like I wouldn't have thought that, however, if I hadn't been trained by SPN for the past five years. 

Moving forward past the teaser. While I adore Ben, and wish he'd had more character growth and had been a main character, I could do without Lisa. I am not a Lisa hater, like a lot of people. I just intensely dislike her. I feel like that was the point, though. No matter how important the writers make a character to Dean or to Sam, if they're a female character then they are meant to be hated. Which is part of that inherent sexism in the show that I was talking about. The way that female characters are treated, talked about, spoken to, or written as, is sexist beyond belief. And that's just within the show. I don't even want to talk about the fandom, which consists mostly of females (Which is what makes it so depressing.) That however is what I have to say about any and all parts of the finale episodes with Lisa. I'm not a big fan, but at least I understand why. 

Crowley, on the other hand, is one of my favorite pseudo-villains. If not my favorite. Not only did I completely love, catch, and laugh about how they so bluntly stole a character (almost exactly) from Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett's epicly amazing novel Good Omens. I also fell in love with Mark Sheppard as an actor. 

Okay. So, we've got purgatory. We have the newly appointed King of Hell, Crowley, and a fallen angel, Castiel, working together trying find the spell to open purgatory. Castiel just wants to have enough power to stop his brother Raphael from restarting the apocalypse, which we've already covered Castiel does not want. Crowley, on the other hand, just wants more power. Therefore, we've got the would-be good guy who's just doing this to save the world and the would-be villain who's just doing this because he can and wants to. This will be good.

I still stand by Castiel. I really do. Even after the finale episodes. I feel like the results were both good and amazingly, horribly awful, but I also feel like his intention was very human. In fact the entire situation was extremely human. What he did, why he did it, the results of what he did. He made a mistake. He did some pretty awful stuff, but so has Sam and so has Dean. Sam is on the same level, I feel, as Castiel when it comes to the bad stuff. From just the whole soulless year alone. Dean is very stuck in his ways and when things don't agree with those ways, he usually fights against it. Even if he wrong. Like the vampire episode in season 2 with the good vampires. Prime example of Dean's pigheadedness.

The biggest questions going into season 7 are going to be: What will happen to Sam? His protective wall has been broken by Castiel and he both remembers hell and is remembering the soulless year. Will he completely break apart, or will be soldier through like Dean did in season 4? Will Dean, Sam, and Bobby bow down to Castiel, or will they run for their lives for the whole season? And to couple that question, Will Castiel really destroy them if they don't bow down and love him? There's also my personal question of if Chuck, who I believe to actually be God, will come back. If he does come back, will he be powerful enough to stop Castiel? We know that Castiel will both drop as a main character and will be the "villain" of  season 7. So all these questions, and then some, will come up until September. 

That being said. I think Sam is strong enough to deal with his wall breaking. I think they will run for their lives and I think Castiel might kidnap one of them in exchange for the bowing down. I can only hope Chuck will come back because I adore him and want him to return Castiel to his former lovely state. I certainly do not hope that season 7 is the last, but I hope that if it is, things are okay. They don't have to be perfect at the end. This is  the Winchester brothers we're talking about. I just hope that everything is okay in the end. If it's not, then it's really not the end.

-Wednesday

Monday, June 20, 2011

A Post About Relationships. Sort Of.

It's weird to be attracted to someone when you know they might actually like you back. Like, that's a totally new and different experience for me. I don't really know if it makes me more or less awkward around them. Let's just say more, though, because that seems more like me. The only guy I actually count as a boyfriend was Andy, and let's just say it took me a three months before I could actually, and I'm not lying about this, even talk to the boy. Then three months of just being friends. Then four months of going on off and on dates through the summer. Finally he told me that he liked me at a friends birthday party and we dated for eight months. So, my track record for guys is slim at best, although I love Andy to pieces.

My general recent type for unattainable guys? (I say guys because the majority of the girls I'm attracted to are unattainable simply because they are heterosexual.) They usually have one, or more, of the following traits:

  • At least 5 years older then I
  • Married
  • Taken
  • Just got out of a relationship
  • Has a kid
  • Lives way to far away
  • We are just friends
  • Has no idea who I am (in all actuality)

And I'm not just talking about celebrity crushes, which is pretty sad. Also, I haven't really been crushing, amazingly enough, on too many homosexual boys. So, go me. 

Anyway. Back to that guys actually, maybe, liking me thing. Surprisingly, or at least it is surprising to me (and probably my IRL friends who know me okay), I haven't really thought about the guy I've been crushing on mad for the past three months. Like, barely at all. It's a combination of not talking to him because we hung out so much during the last month of school and I figured we probably needed time where we just weren't in each others lives, and internet friends and work being my whole life right now. Like, the only reason I've even thought about him in the past week or so is because I've been thinking about school and my major, which he is in. I only mention this because it is kind of amazing, considering it's me.

I mention this whole topic, however, because I like (only tiny crushes, I swear!) three guys at work. They all fall under at least one, if not two or more, of the things I put on that list. Honestly, two of them are only because I have fun messing around and bad mouthing customers with them and, despite being shift leaders, they're both really chill. Which is slightly attractive to me, being able to be that cool with someone. That doesn't however, make them legit crushes or anything actually sustainable. The other one, I actually really like. Or could potentially like, I don't actually know him that well. What's funny is that he went to school with my sister. Like, they partied together in high school and she was really good friends with his younger brother. He came in today to see about his schedule, which is what made me think of this. We flirt a lot, when we actually work together, and I know I'm not just imagining things (like I'm known to do) because he found me on Facebook and gave me his phone number. 

The potential of someone actually, for once, liking me back when I like them is a little too much to handle, though. I can feel my relationship fail kicking into overdrive. Regardless of whether or not it would be a "relationship" because that fail system kicks in for any aspect of a relationship. Sometimes even for friendships.

PLUS. There's the guy I'm in Nerdfighterlust with. There's been some talk from Savannah and Rachel about why I'm calling it that, instead of Nerdfighterlike. Honestly, to me, Nerdfighterlike implies that both parties feel the same about each other. Nerdfighterlust, on the other hand, is more one-sided. The unrequited like of a Nerdfighter. That's totally what I'm in. So, that's what I'm calling it and you can suck it if you don't like it.

Anyway. I worked from 11 AM until 8 PM, because both people who were supposed to come in called off and we even had to call in my best friend, who also works with me (\o/), which was lame. Then, of course I work from 8 AM until 4 PM tomorrow and I really shouldn't be writing this. I should be sleeping. But the episode of Family Guy  that was on I had already seen eighteen thousand times and I was bored.

So, I hope this entry made some kind of sense. Next entry will be SPN related for Savannah, I swear. I need to rewatch the finale before I write it, though. Also, I need to finish Caprica and watch the four episode of Breaking Bad I haven't yet.

Until next time,
Wednesday. 

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

A post about nothing.

Savannah (TheFourOfClubs) made a blog post with a list of lists. I will do the same thing. I need to blog more about actual life. Not just fandom. So, here's some more fandom because real life is hard to write and speak about because it's actually real.


  1. Ten favorite movies
  2. Five favorite television shows
  3. Five favorite young adult authors
  4. Ten favorite novels
  5. Five favorite authors in general
  6. Ten favorite bands
  7. Comedic women 
  8. Ten men I find attractive who aren't ever singled out for their looks
  9. Things I've learned from sci-fi
  10. People I love
  11. People I either know love me or wish did
  12. People I've felt Nerdfighterlust towards
  13. Quotes I adore
  14. Twenty favorite vloggers
  15. Reasons I fail at relationships